real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
