I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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