and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
