considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Randomize
