Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
why do cheetos always look like penises
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
