How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
