Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
