I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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