I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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