Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
