Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Randomize
