I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
