I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
