So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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