Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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