dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
