So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
