so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
