I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
