I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
