I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
