Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
