Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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