On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
