I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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