people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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