Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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