TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
