Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
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