Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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