I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
