My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
