Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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