My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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