why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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