what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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