I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Randomize
