So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
