so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
