There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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