Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I did not marry a roomba.
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