my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
