who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
