But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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