Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
