i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
