her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
