wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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