PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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