i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
