I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
