Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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