mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Randomize
