Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
